


O, Captain. My Captain.

by expeditionblue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Fluff and Smut, I can't believe I wrote this shit, I was oikawa, I'm looking at you oikawa, M/M, Oh, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Running Away, Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Verbal Abuse, and abraham Lincoln was iwachan, and then he ate me, angsty smut???, but I hope that doesn't happen to oikawa, im sorry, kinky ass smut, oh I forgot, ok but poor oikawa, shit this is depressing, there we go, this was actually based off of a dream I had
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2018-11-06 14:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expeditionblue/pseuds/expeditionblue
Summary: “There he stood. There stood the man that Oikawa has been avoiding for 17 months. There stood Iwaizumi fucking Hajime. Oikawa has never wanted to die more in his life, and he’s been wanting to die many times before this incident.”Iwaizumi Hajime was a good kid. Always put effort into his academics, tried his hardest in sports, attempted to get a reasonable amount of sleep. He was your typical college student. Yet, it all soon went downhill when his friend, Oikawa, was brought back into his life after two years of separation. However, Oikawa isn't the main problem. It's his abusive boyfriend.**Warning: This fic contains rape, relationship abuse, drug & alcohol abuse, anxiety episodes, self harm, and suicide attempts. Read at your own risk.**





	1. I Heard There’s a New Café

**Author's Note:**

> Why hello there. Ya like jazz???? Anywho, this is my first ever fic. I haven't really wrote anything before this. Though, I do plan to improve. I wrote the first portion of the fic a while back so eeeek it may be bad. ALSO, I was listening to Lakes. by Triple One while writing (and still writing) this fic! It just reminds me of these two :) Happy reading! (I'm so sorry).

          During the fourth week of his second year of college, Oikawa was far finished with packing and settling into his new apartment. The clock read 2:48pm and Oikawa’s school day had been completed. The pretty boy was hoping that this year would go much more smoothly than it had been last year. Last year was an absolute nightmare for many. Oikawa had always stayed home and remained in a cocoon of blankets as he had to face his emotions by himself. As a result, the boy would now head to his favorite café everyday, so far of this year, where he was always found, burying his nose in a book, pushing up his glasses in the middle of the frame with his middle finger, and resting his left hand on his coffee. Luckily, the coffee shop was close to home as well.

         Today, Oikawa walked steadily toward the entrance, bookbag strap resting only on his right shoulder with his hand on it for reassurance, books held in his left arm, and pushing the entrance door open with the same side of his body. Then, he would give his bright smile to the barista and would gesture his books in the air with a giant wave. Each day, Oikawa repeat the same exact actions in the same exact way. For those who didn’t know better, they would believe his movements were either scripted or based upon pure instincts. The young man was the usual egocentric boy that had the tendency to joke around too much. Though he had the same personality throughout middle school and the majority of highschool, he dramatically changed toward the end of his third year in highschool.

          “The same old, Oikawa?”

          “Yes, please.”

          The brunette was given his cup of coffee and sat down in the seat by the window where he normally sat. Opening his book, Oikawa had resumed to where he had originally left off from the day before.

* * *

        “Iwaizumi.. Iwaizumi.. Iwaizumi Hajime!”

          Iwaizumi’s head shot up, “Huh??”

          “Sleeping is not for the classroom, save that for when you get home!” the teacher scolded, face red hot with the addition of some soft giggles amongst the class.

          “Oh.., yeah, right,” Iwaizumi softly spoke, rubbing the back of his head while slowly burying his blushed face which was full of embarrassment.

          The teacher walked back to the front of the classroom and continued the class period. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi tried to focus on the lesson, that is, until his concentration was interrupted by a very annoying someone.

          “Pffft, how was your nap, sleeping beauty?” Hanamaki had a hard time getting his question out of his mouth due to his attempt to restrain his laughter.

          “Shut up, you creampuff,” Iwaizumi let out as a low grumble.

          “Your face is so red. People will wonder if you got slapped by sensei!”

          “Yeah, well if you keep it up, you’re gonna be the one getting slapped.”

          “Yes, please, talk dirty to me.”

          “I think Issei does enough of that for you.”

          “Hajime, I’m thirsty for it~,” Hanamaki then cupped his hands together and batted his eyelashes, signaling an innocent, puppy look.

          “Oh, _please_."

          “I know, I know, you already get enough of that considering Oika—”

          The room was silent other than the teacher giving her lecture. Turning his head, Iwaizumi’s beaming expression broke, seeming like he would burst into tears. As a result, the boy applied the fakest smile across his face.

          “Thank God I don’t have to deal with that bullshit anymore! Haha!” Iwaizumi stated almost too loud, grinned too wide, and laughed too hard. The sudden change in his friend spooked Makki. Despite it, Hanamaki gave a soft smile back, masking his fear of potentially damaging his friend.

          What seemed like years, the dismissal bell rang and the two shot out of their seats like no tomorrow. While Iwaizumi darted down toward the library, Makki was slowly following along behind the buffer student.

          “Hey, Hajime,” the strawberry blonde blurted out, stopping in the middle of the hallway. Iwaizumi slowed his pace down and turned around. Looking at the strawberry blonde, the dark brunette waited for his peer’s response to statement to continue.

          “I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi whipped his head back around with the same scruffy frown placed upon his face.

          “You _know_ that I don’t give shit about him, remember? He’s been gone for nearly a year and a half.”

          “Yeah, sorry,” Hanamaki started to scratch the back of his head.

          Iwaizumi began to walk and picked his speed up. Reaching to the table, Makki sat next to Matsu while Iwaizumi sat across from the two.

          “Hey, what’s up?” Hanamaki asked Matsukawa, trying to prevent a further conversation with his other friend.

          “Literature is a bitch.”

* * *

          Oikawa stayed at his seat in the café for the majority of the afternoon, soon, drifting into the evening. Standing up out of the chair where he stayed placed, the lanky athlete then started to gather his things, waved goodbye to the barista, and exited the café. As he walked out of the warm building, Oikawa slightly shivered due to the cool, October air that surrounded him. However, this was the weather he enjoyed the most. He really did appreciate the fresh air and was a real ‘slut for the sunset’. As he was roaming down the sidewalk, Oikawa glared up at the rising moon. Small moments like these usually made the setter feel at peace, especially with Iwaizumi for he was always there with him to see the graceful atmosphere. Oikawa loved walking back from volleyball practice late and seeing the purple sky. Or how when they were little, the two friends would run to the creek in the spring, just in time to watch the blossom petals gently float down the stream. Despite how happy these times made him, the nostalgia made Oikawa feel both depressed and pathetic. It made him regret hurting Iwaizumi. Both physically and mentally.

          “Oh, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa heavily breathed out, softly giving a smile.

* * *

           After their last lecture was over, Iwaizumi, Makki, and Mastu existed out of the third entrance to their school. All of the boys were exhausted from the school day. Because it was halfway through the first nine-weeks, Hosei University’s schedule was filled with exams. As a result, the three students were swamped with review sheets and pre-exam seminars or labs. Just thinking of it made Iwaizumi stressed due to the excessive amount of pressure he was receiving from his family, teachers, and other peers. As if on cue..

          “Hajime, you know how you said you were freakin’ out about exams?” asked Makki.

          “I wouldn’t say it was freaking out—”

          “I would say it was.”

          “Mhm, i would say indeed,” Matsu nodded, agreeing with Makki.

          “Get to the point.”

          “I’m going to host a study session with all guys from the lab! Sorry, Issei.”

          “Awe, dang! What will i forever do?!” Matsu placed the back of his hand over his forehead, exaggerating the arch of his back.

          “Thanks but, uh, no thanks.”

          “You’ve been weird lately. Is it because I mentioned you-know-who?”

          “Does this mean I can take his place, Makki?”

          “Nah, don’t worry about that,” Iwaizumi reassured Hanamaki, shrugging and patting his back. The boys walked down the street quietly. Though sometimes there was space for the silence to grow in between the friends, this moment was the first time where the silence grew _to be_ awkward. Iwaizumi didn’t want to be caught in between the stiff quietness which surrounded them. So, the man improvised: “Hey, uh, I have to turn this way. I kinda ran out of bread back at home and need to head to the store.”

          “Alright, catch you later?” the strawberry blonde questioned, waiting for a response along with Matsu.

          “Yeah, see ya.”

          As a result, Iwaizumi turned, heading right of the direction the other two were heading. Lately, Iwaizumi had been feeling _off._ Though his best friend had run away at the end of the third year of highschool, Iwaizumi suddenly feel like the pain just now hit him. Before, Oikawa would be occasionally brought up in conversations with Matsukawa and Hanamaki. However, it seems like now, more than ever, the topic of Oikawa would somehow slither into their dialogue. Iwaizumi did not like it. Especially when his friends felt so guilty of it. It made him mad. It made him _hate_ Oikawa. And Iwaizumi wouldn’t dare to hate his best friend. Yeah, the best friend that so happened to _avoid Iwaizumi for weeks and pick up his shit far too early for college._ Though he knew Oikawa would be an hour and eighteen minutes away, Iwaizumi would at least want to call him and meet up with his friend every now and then.

          The twenty year old continued down the road, however, his direction was going deeper into the city. Though Iwaizumi didn’t mind it, he just didn’t necessarily roam into the city too often due to the long route to his house. After all, he would get groceries every now and then despite the ‘somewhat’ expensive cost. Yet, many know that the average college student has the same fridge condition as any other student; empty. He would blame his lack of time when in reality, Iwaizumi was either broke, lazy, or sulking over his loss of friend. Despite not going into the city often, he overheard that there is a rather nice coffee shop.

          Iwaizumi started to cross the intersection with the horde of people. That’s when it hit the young man. Iwaizumi whiffed a smell of the ‘ _stupid,  flowery, and downright girly’_ perfume he always described. He thought he was imagining it. Nonetheless, Iwaizumi kept going until he noticed a fluff of brown hair. Iwaizumi Hajime whipped his head around so fast that he believed he would have gotten a broken neck. But the person he noticed was just ‘some chick’ that had short brown hair, almost identical to the shape of Oikawa’s. He was right, Iwaizumi was imagining it. As a result, he continued down the street.

* * *

           As Oikawa headed up the pathway behind his apartment complex, he needed to get his glasses from his bag because the _damn_ numbers he needed to punch in to enter were too small and too washed away to be able to comprehend what symbols they make out. While the brunette dug around his bag, panic began to rise.

          “Oh no you’ve got to be fucking kidding me...yep, that’s it, I left my stupid glasses at the coffee shop.”

          It wasn’t unusual for Oikawa to forget his glasses, let alone some form of item, at the café. In conclusion, Oikawa picked his things up and headed toward the direction for the cheap pair of lenses in which he left behind.

          Oikawa started to lightly jog when he turned onto the sidewalk which where the small restaurant was placed. Soon arriving to the entrance, The lanky athlete sped his pace up and bursted through the door. However, Oikawa payed the consequences of barging into the café by hitting a customer, causing them to spill their newly bought coffee upon themselves. Though Oikawa was seen as individualistic, Oikawa quickly ran up to the counter and grabbed a fistful of napkins before even giving his amends. The brunette spun back to the coffee-burnt victim to whom was bent over, holding out his arms due to the drink dripping from his body. Oikawa began to ramble out an apology speech as he quickly fed the other man some napkins. To Oikawa’s surprise, the customer, to whom’s clothes were ruined due to a idiot, let out a soft laugh before he rose to match his eyes with Oikawa’s.

          “Thanks,” he breathed out, “you dumbass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapters will be short and I should probably idk be honest and blame procrastination aaaand motivation???? but blaming the US government instead seems like a better option


	2. Are You There God? It's Me, Iwaizumi Hajime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting might be luck. But second? Now that's just fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: there is physical and emotional abuse in the chapter. if you are uncomfortable, skip from "Well Hosei is close to home [..]" to "Iwaizumi's alarm clock [..]". It is only a small chunk so dont worry about missing anything else. ;)

          There he stood. There stood the man that Oikawa has been avoiding for 17 months. There stood Iwaizumi _fucking_ Hajime. Oikawa has never wanted to die more in his life, and he’s been wanting to die many times before this incident. The brunette was shocked that he hasn’t noticed his best friend. Though Oikawa saw him for just about 40 seconds after he spilled coffee on the _poor victim_ , it explained a lot. The way Iwaizumi arched his back, the darkness in his gelled hair, the vein in the side of his head due to his lack of emotional control, and those _beefy_ biceps ~~(though they have indeed grown)~~.

          As Oikawa was bent over, face to face with a close replacement of death himself, the same confident individual had a hard time releasing words. The green, yet deadly, eyes made Oikawa extremely uncomfortable. Oh, has he wanted to say something. Though his mouth was wide open, no noise erupted from his body. Oikawa Tooru was speechless for the first time in a long time. Though he was absolutely petrified, he wanted nothing but for Iwaizumi to scream at him for ever leaving his side.

          “I..Iwa-chan, been long huh? Haha,” Oikawa said with a nervous laugh.

          “It’s been long, Tooru,” Iwaizumi slowly rose up, keeping his soft glare on his friend, “too long.” Oikawa had shivers running up his spine. His comrade has used his first name, meaning that this wouldn’t be the best time to fool around. He was absolutely shocked at how Iwaizumi didn’t give off a single sign of anger. As a result, Oikawa remained silent. “Do you know how long it has been?” Iwaizumi seemed deeply wounded. Of course he would be deeply heartbroken, his childhood partner had abandoned him as well as, completely unaware, betrayed him in a sense.

          “I, uh, I don’t know,” Oikawa lied.

          “A little over than a year.”

          Oikawa thought: _No, it’s been a little over a year and a half. 17 months. 519 days._ Of course Oikawa kept track on how long he and his companion have been apart. The young man tried his hardest to forget Iwaizumi. Ironically, it made him more aware of his friend rather than erasing him from his memory. The brunette didn’t know what to say back. “

          Oh, psh, did not know,” Oikawa lied twice.

          “Tooru?” Iwaizumi gently whispered out.

          “Y-yes, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa was slightly frightened on what Iwaizumi would be asking. Especially if he would be asking using a soft and quiet tone. It usually didn’t mean well.

          “Uh, why did you leave exactly?” Iwaizumi had difficulty releasing the words from his mouth. It pained him having to ask his friend that question. Despite that Iwaizumi was the one asking the question, it hurt Oikawa as well. The brunette looked like a deer in the headlights while Iwaizumi looked like a twelve year old getting rejected by his crush.

          “Why did I leave?” Oikawa repeated the question with a shaky breath. He was shocked. Utterly _amazed_ at how his best friend could possibly forget. Really he wanted to ask the question, What did you mean ‘Why did you leave’? But before Iwaizumi could reply to Oikawa re-asking the question, the brunette spoke up once again. “I kinda had to get out of there.”

          “Why? What happened? Did your dad beat you or some shit? Was it a some guy pickin’ on you? Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve taken care of it!” Iwaizumi spoke too fast, nearly yelling. But, he always promised Oikawa that he would take care of him.

          “I couldn’t have told you.”

          Iwaizumi wanted to yank on his friend’s shirt and scream into his face. Though it was usually his best tactic for Oikawa to listen to him, Iwaizumi didn’t want him to listen. He wanted him to talk. However, the young man didn’t want the other to run off on him like before. As a result, he prevented himself from yelling or even asking further questions. He was afraid he would be ‘pushing it’. Before Iwaizumi or even Oikawa could break the silence once more, the brunette’s phone vibrated with a soft chime, a sign of a text message. Oikawa peered down to his phone and shot his glance back to his companion.

          “If you’ll excuse me, but I have to leave. I have someone waiting for me at home.”

          “Oikawa, wait! Please don’t go!”

          And just like that, Oikawa turned away from Iwaizumi without a goodbye. Before, Iwaizumi had initially avoided questions to prohibit from his friend running away due to the immense amount of pressure. However, the brunette strolled out of the coffee shop without Iwaizumi saying a word other than his pleads for him to not leave.

* * *

          Iwaizumi was escorting himself back to his apartment while his mind was full of thoughts based upon the incident that had recently taken place at the café. Of course, Iwaizumi has completely forgotten the coffee stain which sprawled across his uniform. Though Oikawa had ditched Miyagi toward the end of the third year, he just remembered that Oikawa was indeed _going_ to attend Tsukuba Campus at the time.

          _So why the hell was he just at a coffee shop which was remotely an hour and eighteen minutes away from his school?_ Iwaizumi was in a daze of speculations. However, what Oikawa said flew by him. _I have someone waiting for me at home._

          “What the hell does that mean?!” the man was completely unaware that he was speaking to himself aloud.

          _What Oikawa said, does that mean he’s seeing someone? Or maybe they’re just a roommate? No, roommates don’t just stay up for them to return._ What troubled Iwaizumi the most was that, yeah, he was upset that Oikawa probably had a new best friend, but, he was more infuriated about the thought of a significant other. Now Iwaizumi was really lost in his understanding. He never thought of Oikawa like that…

          The young man climbed up the steps to his apartment. Iwaizumi’s flat was located on the fourth floor and by all means, elevator, you just _had_ to break down. Iwaizumi jabbed the key into the keyhole and turned it to the right. As he pushed the door, walked through, and locked the door back up, he threw his bag onto the floor and smacked his keys onto the table near the doorway. Nearly fast walking, Iwaizumi darted to his room and flopped against his bed. Though he didn’t bother getting into the shower and _definitely_ didn’t bother getting undressed, instead, Iwaizumi passed out on his bed due to his surprisingly interesting encounter with his long lost best friend.

* * *

          On his way home, Oikawa was flushed red. He wanted to kneel down in the middle of the sidewalk and scream. Despite his want to breakdown and cry, he looked sturdy and content while walking back to his apartment complex. Ringing of his phone kept erupting in his pocket. Pulling out his device, Oikawa declined the call. He didn’t need to deal with the person on the other end. Especially, not now. Not when Oikawa wants to drown himself under warm water of a bath, that’s all he wanted at the moment. He just ruined 17 months of work. 17 months of _both_ physically and mentally removing Iwaizumi Hajime from his life. All thanks to a pair of of glass lenses.

          Before Oikawa opened the door to his apartment, he was wondering what excuse he should make. His so called ‘roommate’ wasn’t just his roommate but his _boyfriend_. The brunette always told himself how much he loved his significant other. However, the two have argued more lately, but those arguments have resulted with Oikawa soaking in the tub due to a vast variety of bruises. Except, the lanky athlete would occasionally figure out a way to end the feud with hard and rough hate sex. Despite the difference between the options, Oikawa always headed to school the following day with a limp and a generous amount of black and blue wounds.

          Oikawa had jumped up. The door opened right before him and he was afraid of what to say. There stood his ‘lover’, and the brunette opened his mouth to say something. _This day is just getting worse and it’s going to end in a fight, won’t it?_

          “Were you locked out? I heard your footsteps but you never opened the door,” the taller male said in a hushed and quiet tone.

          “I, uh, yeah. Was looking for the key in my bag but I, um, c-couldn’t find it.” Though Oikawa sounded like a complete liar, his paramour widened the door to let Oikawa through the entrance. So, Oikawa walked right through the doorway without giving a word.

          “You told me you were on your way home about 45 minutes ago, Tooru.” There it is again, his first name. Though Iwaizumi had recently used it, he said it in a scary way where it was _comfortable_ , which is even hard to explain for Oikawa. But when Oikawa’s boyfriend used that specific form of his name, the brunette wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and get the beating over with. “Tooru, what did you do in those 45 minutes.” _Damn, that’s right. I didn’t answer him. Now he definitely thinks something is going on._

          “On my way home, I realized I left my glasses back at the coffee shop,” Oikawa said proudly. He was telling the uttermost truth, nothing can go wrong with that. At least, that’s what he thought before the other spoke up once more.

          “I don’t think it would take you 45 minutes for you to go back and grab your glasses.” _Fuck_. Oikawa looked down and thought of an answer. “You ran into Iwaizumi Hajime, didn’t you?” The smaller man looked up with wide eyes and shock written across his face. He definitely couldn’t lie. Either way, his soft skin is going to have a meeting with his admirer’s belt, he might as well tell the truth.

          “Yeah.. yeah I did.”

          “I told you that you should have stayed at Tsukuba. Better education and further away from that asshole. He controls your life.” _What a fucking hypocrite._

          “Well Hosei is closer to home by a _whole hour_ and you know that the better schools I’m in, that harder I’m going to compete and get into fights! You know it’s not healthy for me—”

          “Oikawa, don’t make excuses. Raising your voice and getting defensive is only proof of it.”

          “You’re gonna hit me.. Aren’t you?..” Oikawa was scared for what the response would be, however, the taller man just stayed quiet, back turned to Oikawa.

          “Don’t make me sound like a monster when I’m not nor is it my fault when you’re the one to blame,” he stated, gritting through his teeth. The smaller and lankier one wanted to scream so bad. Scream at his ‘lover’ on how it is the other’s fault, he wanted to scream on how his admirer is truly a monster and how the damage on Oikawa’s body was the result. The smaller boy put his head down once more as he heard the noise of a belt being unfastened. Oikawa closed his eyes, waiting for the order’s to be slipped off his suitor’s lips.

          “Take off your pants and underwear.” The lanky brunette did as he was told with the noise of leather being struck against his cold and pale skin following shortly after. Soon, came the noises of agony and pain.

* * *

           Iwaizumi’s alarm clock rung until the grumpy young man slammed his fist against it. Groaning and rubbing his eyes, the dark, spiked hair man began to rise his body from his former position.

        _I have someone waiting for me at home._ The same sentence rung in Iwaizumi’s ears. He was concerned on whether or not he’ll get answers to his questions. Or maybe even come across his friend by sheer luck once again. Iwaizumi shook his head, trying to prevent his thoughts for clouding his mind.

          Iwaizumi stood up and walked over to his closet, plucking out the identical uniform to the one he wore from the day before, minus the coffee spill that is. He dressed himself and moved forward to the bathroom to where he would spike his hair. After he finished getting ready, Iwaizumi would make himself a cup of coffee. However, he paused, remembering the night before. Part of him wanted to believe it was a dream so he could get over Oikawa like how he did before. Then again, he hoped that Oikawa was really nearby. The darker brunette began to ponder on what his friend could possibly be doing at the time. Until he over-poured his coffee and the scalding liquid burnt his hand…

          The shorter athlete made his way outside his apartment, locked his door, and walked down the hall, passing the elevator. Unfortunately, Iwaizumi just _had_ to drop his bag right in front of the most annoying neighbor’s door.

          “Hey, hey, hey buddy! How’s it going?! I haven’t heard from you in a while, man!” The buffer man stated as he draped his arm around Iwaizumi, almost ‘killing’ him. All Iwaizumi could mutter was a “Hi, Bokuto” as he was nearly being choked alive. From inside the apartment, he noticed the same tired boy which he started seeing in the halls this year. Iwaizumi could never understand why he always looks so damn tired. School? Partying? Now he knows.

          “You should come by his week! My bro, Kuroo, will be having a party and there will be lots to drink!” Iwaizumi’s daze faded away when he heard the mention of alcohol. Iwaizumi started to smile evilly, scaring both Bokuto and his friend.

    _Just what I needed._

* * *

          Oikawa slowly blinked his eyes open to wash the sleep away. Surprisingly, Oikawa slept like a baby the night before. Though he encountered his old best friend and was brutally beaten by lover, he fell into deep sleep due to the exhaustion from crying and emotional breakdowns. All he ever wanted at that moment was to be held. Sadly, the brunette was kicked out from the bedroom which lead him to only have a single pillow and light blanket to supply him the comfort he desired.

          The only upside to his morning was that Oikawa had no classes in the morning, thankfully. Besides, he doesn’t have a large amount of classes to begin with for Oikawa only majored in business. As a result, Oikawa curled up in his blankets and repelled against the outside world. That day, Oikawa did not go to the coffee shop.

* * *

        Iwaizumi shot up out of his ‘friday afternoon nap’. It was eight in the evening. Usually, party and club activities didn’t begin until later in the evening. However, Bokuto’s invitation to getting upright wasted excited Iwaizumi. That way, Iwaizumi could completely drown Oikawa related thoughts with alcohol.

          Before the man could even finish getting ready for the party, his friendly neighbor barged through the door.

          “Hey, man! So glad you could come!” the ombre haired man said screaming, arms lifted in the air. Stood behind Bokuto was his quiet friend, looking as tired as always.

          “Bokuto, you should have knocked.”

          “He’s a friend! Do I have to knock?”

          “Yes. Yes, you do.” The two continued bickering while Iwaizumi continued to dig throughout his closet, still not wearing a t-shirt. After figuring out what outfit to wear, Iwaizumi exited out of his room to see the two friends still fighting. To some degree, the darker brunette began to feel sick. Not because he was tired of his neighbor’s arguments, but because the fighting reminded him of his friend.

          “Hey, man, you okay?” Iwaizumi widened his eyes as he woke up out of his daze, taken by surprise to hear a quiet Bokuto to say the words. Though, when Iwaizumi gave a soft nod for reassurance, the peace did not stay long. “Alright! Let’s hurry up and go! Kuroo is waiting!” Bokuto pushed his quiet friend out of the door, forcing him to come along, while Iwaizumi followed closely behind.

          The three of the students marched out of an elevator and to the right in which they exited the building. It seemed that Bokuto knew where he was heading as if he had been going the same route over a number of times. Though, the quiet friend still had to warn him for a pole when he walking backward to tell Iwaizumi a story. Sometimes, the friend just didn’t bother to warn him. Bokuto whistled for a cab and all three hoped in.

          Soon enough, all of them stood right before the party’s entrance on the eleventh floor. Iwaizumi could hear the loud music booming beyond the entrance. The dark brunette was excited.

* * *

          Remotely two hours later, 10pm, Iwaizumi was drowning in alcohol like he had planned and two women were grinding on his body. The whiskey was burning his throat while the ladies were burning his lips with their..  _affection_. The dark brunette was deeply relaxed, slowly breathing in and out. Iwaizumi grinned.

        _Just what I needed? Damn right._ Some slow Weeknd song was playing in the background, soothing to Iwaizumi’s mind. However, his peace was interrupted when he noticed the same someone by the drinks. Oikawa fucking Tooru. The dark brunette studied his friend. He was sitting next to someone, of course, tall, dark, and handsome. But to Iwaizumi’s surprise, he would have never known Oikawa was into guys. Actually, he takes that back.

          The _fucker_ had a devilish grin which was accompanied with disheveled black hair. He was leaning against the table while sitting disturbingly close to his friend. Iwaizumi assumed that the stranger was flirting with his comrade. However, Oikawa was completely oblivious to the actions. Iwaizumi’s body started to flood with heat. He was angry.

          How could someone so foreign to Oikawa make him laugh so brightly when Iwaizumi couldn’t hold a conversation with the man for more than ten minutes? Iwaizumi wanted to be in the stranger’s seat. But what made his blood really boil was when Iwaizumi noticed his obnoxious neighbor join the conversation. _How could he communicate with the enemy?_

          The dark brunette immediately shot straight up from the former position he had with the women and marched across the room to have a meeting with destiny.

          Before Iwaizumi could punch the intruder, Bokuto brightly greeted him once more.

          “Hey, hey, hey, buddy! This is Kuroo!” The neighbor gestured toward the stranger which greeted him with his smirk and held out his hand.

_Kuroo. This meant that this was his party. This was his apartment. These were his friends. Maybe this guy was the one waiting for Oikawa..._

          “You okay, dude? You lookin’ a lil’ pale again.” Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if the alcohol is what made the room start to spin or the sudden realization of who Kuroo was. His head was running in circles. The dark brunette turned and threw upon on the closest person. Oikawa.

      _Are you there God? It’s me, Iwaizumi Hajime._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iwachan, slow your roll my dude. ya might hurt yourself.


	3. I Hate Myself Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa follows Iwaizumi and the others back to Bokuto's apartment. Oikawa expects his friend to ask him plenty of questions. However, the situation is the exact opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who are uncomfortable with panic attack scenarios, please skip the last portion, which begins with "Oikawa started to". to be honest with you, panic attack episodes are quite frequent in the fic. this story includes many tragic incidents. you may even want to stop reading. otherwise, read at your own risk!! happy reading!!

          The smell of vomit filled the room. Despite the disgusting stench, the other attenders still danced and drank. Meanwhile, Oikawa was holding onto a ‘passed out Iwa-chan’ and was drenched in throw up. Kuroo immediately darted for paper towels while Bokuto was simply laughing his ass off. Oikawa sat in awe. Not because he was covered in barf, but the fact that he came across Iwaizumi _again_.

          Kuroo returned with rolls of paper towels while Bokuto’s laughter began to diminish. Oikawa was still frozen in place, looking down at his friend with wide eyes. All he wanted to do was run his fingers through his hair.

          “Oikawa, do you know him?”

          The tall brunette peered up at the taller man and then refocused himself back to his friend. Though Kuroo was the one who had asked the question, everyone else was also waiting for an answer.

          “Used to.”

          “Do you think he could stay the night with you and—”

          “Hell no!” Oikawa shouted way too quickly. He knew what might happen if Iwaizumi came face to face with his boyfriend. Oikawa grimaced at the sight.

          “Hey! I know where he lives so I can just take him home!”

          “Bokuto-san, we shouldn’t leave him alone.” Akaashi stated, walking back from wherever he came from while shoving his hands in his pockets, causing a jingle of keys.

          “Great idea, Akaashi! We could have him stay the night!” Bokuto’s face lit up when he thought of the idea.

          “Awesome! Could I come over too?”

          “Hell yeah, man! What about you, cupcakes?”

          Oikawa looked up from staring at Iwaizumi once more, eyes still wide. He wanted to bring home his friend. The tall brunette knew that Kuroo and Bokuto would end up drawing mustaches and monocles on Iwaizumi’s face and Akaashi wouldn’t stop them since he didn’t know the man and that meant no effort in trying to stop them. Instead, he would just feel bad. Though it could possibly end in a fight with his _lover_ , Oikawa did only what a rational friend would do.

          “Sure.” 

* * *

          The four men quietly exited the apartment. Well, Akaashi did. The two troublemakers were holding Iwaizumi by the limbs and _had_ to drop him in the middle of the doorway while Oikawa screeched a ‘Iwa-chan!’. The tall brunette started yelling at the two and said it would be best if they held him differently. As a result, Kuroo picked up the unconscious student and slung him over his shoulder. Oikawa walked closely behind the taller man as if he were a mother of his newborn Iwa-chan. Bokuto simply bounced his way to elevator.

          Once the group of men exited the building, Bokuto whistled for a taxi. The three others piled into the taxi with ease. However, Kuroo did a successful job of hitting Iwaizumi’s head on his way in. And they’re off. The cab drove to their destination.

          The city lights complimented the dark sky. Though it was something so small, Oikawa felt his eyes watering at the sight. In Oikawa’s defense, he wasn’t able to go out often, let alone associate himself with friends. But now, he was with Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi, and last but not least, his long-lost friend, Iwaizumi. The brunette started to bawl his eyes out. Of course, everyone decided to laugh at his snot-covered face. He was drunk, okay.

          The large group dismantled themselves from the cab. No one can quite remember, but everyone was pretty certain the cab sped off _as soon_ as the last person left the vehicle. The group of men entered the building. Of course, the cluster received many stares. Who wouldn’t? They were carrying an unconscious man.

          As soon as Bokuto barged into his own apartment, he sped around the furniture to receive yet another alcohol beverage. Though it wasn’t necessary, the loud friend decided to accompany the action of popping the cork with yelling. Kuroo steadily walked into the flat and carefully placed the unconscious student onto the couch. As Oikawa assumed, the loud student brought up his _excellent_ idea.

          “Yooooooo! You guys! I’ve got the _marker_ ~”

          “Bro..”

          “You guys! We will not be drawing on Iwa-chan!” The tall brunette yanked the writing utensil away from Bokuto’s grip.

          “Hey, Bo, you never really told me much about this guy,” Kuroo interrupted while crossing his arms with the same smirk he used before, peering down on the comatose man.

          “Oh, yeah! He’s pretty much a grump and always looks like he never gets enough sleep. Dude looked like he could really have a drink so I mentioned the party! Obviously took it to his advantage,” Bokuto replied while drawing a vintage mustache above Iwaizumi’s upper lip. Beside him, Oikawa nearly squawked when he realized Bokuto grabbed yet _another_ marker. And this time, permanent.

          While Oikawa tried to deduct the marker from the larger man, he listened to Akaashi joining the conversation.“I frequently see Iwaizumi-san in the halls at the univer—”

          “Wait! Really?!” The three others turned their heads to pay attention to the lanky brunette.

          “Oiks, thought you said you knew the dude?”

          “And I said, ‘used to’!”

          “So then..why don’t you know him now?” Bokuto intervened.

          “Long stor—”

          “We’ve got plenty of time, my friend. Go on, sit down.” And just like that, the brunette grabbed a blanket and placed himself on the couch, sitting next to his fainted friend.

          “Toward the end of my third year at Aoba Johsai, I ran away _for_ Iwaizumi.”

          There was a long pause. Oikawa dipped his head into arms, which were atop of his lap, and buried his face, silently shedding tears. The lanky brunette was soon greeted by small and soft pats on the back with a large hand.

          “So that’s the guy, huh?”

          Oikawa only gave a silent nod as a reply to Kuroo and resumed his explanation.

* * *

          Around the time when laughs were soon being released after deep thoughts, stories were distributed, and intense ‘mustache scrubbing’, the alcohol in the students’ stomachs was soon fading. As a result, a _very tired_ student began to rise from his sleep.

          Iwaizumi began to rub his eyes and let out several groans. Due to his friend’s ‘awakening’, the tall brunette started to panick. Of course, Oikawa began to regret joining the group to stay the night. This meant that he was _stuck_ to talk to his friend. Who wouldn’t want answers? Clearly, Oikawa didn’t give Iwaizumi the explanation he deserved back at the coffee shop. But, that doesn’t entirely mean that he wants to give his explanation now.

          Iwaizumi slowly rises his upper body from the couch. Kuroo is in the kitchen, munching on a bag of chips along with Bokuto, and Akaashi went into his room to change his clothes. Meaning, Oikawa is the only one left in the living room with Iwaizumi. His friend will see him first. And, they’re alone, making it the perfect atmosphere to ask questions. But to his surprise, Oikawa heart isn’t pumping due to being anxious. His heart is quickly beating by virtue of Iwaizumi’s physical appearance. Mostly, his jaw and neck.

          “Shittyka—mm.. Oikawa?”

          The brunette regained his attention back to reality upon hearing his name. Oikawa clapped his hands and gave his fakest smile. Though he knew Iwaizumi could see right through it, Oikawa did the action anyway.

          “Oh, Iwa-chan! You’re awake!” Obviously.

          “Uh, yeah,” Iwaizumi sleepily stated as he rubbed the back of his neck, unknowingly biting his bottom lip as well.

_God, Iwa-chan, I have a boyfriend! Stop it! And you’re my friend! Wait, are you still my friend? Oh, but man, the nape of your neck looks so good.. Iwa-chan, Isaidstopitalready!_

          “Well, well, well! How was your rest, sleeping beauty? Feeling any better?” Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa quickly turned their heads toward the man who was speaking. The dark brunette felt like throwing up again. But, the he did not want to construct a mess once more. Instead, the man lowered his head, looking away from the man that just spoke.

          “Fine. Thank you,” Iwaizumi politely spoke.

          “Hey, um, Iwa-ch—”

          “I think I’m gonna head home now..”

          When Iwaizumi stated that he was no longer staying, Oikawa immediately felt offended. He then started contemplation on what he said or did wrong. _What I did wrong? Well, obviously, I broke him. Got him beat up. Aaaand left him when he needed me the most. I mean wouldn’t that just do the trick, huh?_

          Thankfully, Oikawa had his other friends to count on.

          “Why you leavin’ so soon, bud? I’m hurt,” Kuroo stated with a hand to his chest and a damaged look sprawled across his face.

          “Yeah! Why you leavin’ now, bro?” Iwaizumi replied with nothing but silence only to head out the door. Well, until the quiet one spoke up.

          “Technically speaking, you can’t leave.”

          “Huh?” Iwaizumi asked, seeming confused while turning his head to face Akaashi.

          “Well, I don’t recall you picking up your cellphone and keys before approaching to our table at the party. As soon as you joined us, you seem to have vomited and gone under an unconscious state. Due to the given circumstances, you can’t leave. Where else would you go?”

          The dark brunette stared at the smaller student, then stared back at the others, whom were in strict awe.

          “Sorry, man, but I’m not gonna go back,” Kuroo stated.

          “No, I understand.”

          Minutes later, Bokuto was placed on the couch alongside Iwaizumi. Obviously, to entertain, really to _annoy_ , the dark brunette while the others gathered in the kitchen to have a ‘small’ meeting.

          “Oikawa, man, that was close.”

          “But..”

          “Oh no, what is it now?” The taller student stated while dramatically slouching his back.

          “You guys don’t know Iwa-chan like I do..”

          “Obviously, get to the point, princess~”

          “Why _you little_ —”

          Akaashi sighed and rolled his eyes, implying that he wanted the two other men to stop bickering. As a result, Kuroo quietened to allow the light brunette to continue his story.

          “Well, after all, it is only two in the morning. Iwa-chan _is_ going to make an effort to get his keys back y’know,” Oikawa trailed off. Both he and Kuroo turned their heads toward the small, dark brunette, who was causing the noise of rustling keys in his pocket.

          “I’m not stupid,” Akaashi stated, presenting keys in front of two pairs of eyes.

          “Man, ‘Kaashi, you’re a fucking genius.”

* * *

          For the rest of the night, Iwaizumi has avoided Oikawa completely. The rest of the group has even noticed it, _including_ Bokuto. The only pair of words the student has spoken were “not right now” when Oikawa only opened his mouth in preparation to speak. Though, his silence soon ended when he asked for a favor.

          “Hey, Bokuto? Can I use your phone by chance?”

          “Er..um, sure!” The larger man then handed his phone over to Iwaizumi shortly after he gave thanks.

          Despite being across the room, Oikawa knew exactly what Iwaizumi was doing. The brunette kept his vision locked on his friend as his eyes followed him into the bedroom. Then, being locked out as Iwaizumi shut the door.

          “Hnng..Iwaizumi? W-what are you doing up this..early?”

          “Hanamaki, I have to come over.”

          “Geesh, you sound like Oika— ah! Mattsun! Yeah, M-mattsun!”

          “Hm..what? Takahiro?”

          Iwaizumi realized that not only did he forget to inform his friends about Oikawa’s reappearance but.. is Matsukawa? Perhaps?

          “Is Matsukawa in bed with you?!”

          “What?! No! Haha, are you kidding?!”

          “Takahiro.. What?”

          “Not you! The door will be open okay!”

          The phone call abruptly ended. _First name basis?_

          Iwaizumi exited out of the room and announced that he was leaving to stay with friends. As expected, Oikawa’s friends made an attempt for him to stay. However, Oikawa, himself, stood up and stated his farewell. Iwaizumi took the cue and headed out the door.

          As soon as his _former_ friend left, Oikawa then soon started to rummage through the couch’s cushions.

          “Uh, Oiks, whatcha doin’?” A confused Bokuto questioned.

          “Phone’s ringing,” Oikawa stated as he pulled out his cell, blaring noise throughout the apartment.

          Panic began to rise as he noticed the contact. As he was just about to answer the call, Kuroo swiped the phone from the brunette’s hand.

          “I’ll take that!”

          “What? Kuroo! No! Please wait! _Stopstopstopstop!_ ”

          Kuroo takes the cell phone and presses the accept button. He brings the device up to his lips. “Hi! Welcome to Henry’s Hotdogs! You give us the cash, we give you the wiener!”

          “Kuroo, put Tooru on the phone.”

          “Uh..Sorry, dude, but our main weenie boy is off, may I send someone else to nurture your buns?”

          “Kuroo, enough of the jokes. Put him on the phone no—”

          “Bye bye!” The tall man screams into the phone before ending the call. He then turns to his brunette friend, obviously having a furious face on.

          “What the hell was that! Oh my god.. Oh my god!” Oikawa then takes his phone away from Kuroo’s grip, staring at the screen full of notifications. 19 missed calls and 24 unread messages. “He’s going to kill me! He’s _actually_ going to kill me!” Oikawa began to sob while unlocking his phone. He then recalled the person that sent the messages. “Hi, babe! I’m sorry about Kuroo! Well, you see, we got drunk and had some fun, y’know and uh..” Oikawa trailed off, still sobbing.

          “Is he a problem, Tooru?”

          “Eh, what? No! Not at all!”

          “Tooru, it’s too early for this. Come home?” the man on the other line spoke politely, rephrasing the demand into a question.

          “Uh, okay! Yes. On my way!” The brunette hung up the phone and wiped away the tears.

          “Man, you need help.” Kuroo stated.

* * *

          “I hate him! I hate him so _fucking_ much! Why did he have to come back in my life?” Iwaizumi states, throwing his hands in the air due to frustration.

          “Ok, so… you were happy when you met him in the coffee shop, _but_ you hate him now?” Hanamaki states.

          “It sounds bad when you say it like _that_. But how could he just say, _‘It’s been long’_ o-or get this one, Oikawa was legitimately confused when I asked him why he left. Oh! And _this_ is the best part! Fucking Tooru ran off on me, his best friend he hasn’t seen in nearly because he had someone waiting for him at home!” Iwaizumi sloppily sat down onto the chair across from Hanamaki, out of breath due to the immense yelling.

          “I don’t know. Maybe he was already in a bad spot with the person who was waiting for him at home,” Coming into the living room, Matsukawa intervened as he handed both Iwaizumi and Hanamaki a cup of coffee.

          “Shouldn’t Oikawa be the mad one? I mean you did throw up on him,” The strawberry blonde stated with a smug grin across his face.

          “Shut up!”

          “Hey, now. Why’d you didn’t tell us earlier, buddy?” Matsukawa simply asked before raising his cup to his lip.

          “Well, why didn’t you tell me you slept with Hanamaki, huh? Are you two gay for each other or some shit?”

          Hanamaki froze while Matsukawa went into a coughing fit.

          “Oh my god.”

          “W-we were gonna tell you later! Honest!” Hanamaki raised his voice over Matsukawa’s coughing.

          “Oh my god.”

          “I mean it’s not that bad?! It’s just..y’know! Friendship b-but with the kissing and cuddling part!”

          “And sex,” Matsukawa huffed.

          “Oh my god.”

          “C’mon, Iwaizumi!”

          “I think it would be a good idea for you to hang out with him”

          “Huh?!” Both Iwaizumi and Hanamaki stated in unison, turning their heads to meet their eye’s with Matsukawa’s.

          “I am a firm believer in the whole _‘love never dies, you just grow apart’_ thing. So your _platonic_ and _totallynotgay_ feelings for each other are still there. You just have to find them,” The tired-eyed brunette casually stated before taking another drink of his beverage.

          “Wait, what do you mean about..?”

          “Great idea, Issei! I have just the plan,” Hanamaki ignored Iwaizumi while grinning mischievously and rubbing his hands together.

          All Iwaizumi responded with was dramatic eye-rolling and a groan.

* * *

          Oikawa started to head back to his apartment in a relatively fast motion.

          _He's gonna kill me. If he sounded that happy on the phone, isn't he extremely mad?_

          The sky was dark and the air was viciously tight. As a result, he had an incredibly hard time breathing. The brunette felt so _overwhelmed_. Everything was way too out of control for his liking.

          _I came across Iwachan again. I didn’t tell youknowwho about Kuroo’s party. He’ll be furious and will begin his rant about how he think’s I’m a slut for him again. But know that I stayed out this late, he’ll think I was sucking off every guy I saw. O-or how I might’ve been used as a sex toy and people used turns on me to rail me in the ass. Know that I think of it, what will be my punishment if he believes **that**?_

          While speculating upon his worries, Oikawa lost footing due to the loose pavement on the sidewalk. Out of instinct, the brunette placed his hands out infront of him to prevent major injuries. However, the young man came crashing down. Despite his left knee breaking most of the fall, Oikawa’s impact with the concrete _certainly_ had him gasping on what air was left in his lungs. Now, Oikawa really couldn’t breathe. He began to actually think he was going to die. _Pathetic_.

          The student reached out for his phone. Nonetheless, he couldn’t see a damn thing. His lack of focus in his eyes was not the conflict in this situation, it was the endless streams of tears. Besides, who would he call? _Calling Kuroo and Bokuto would make my situation worse. Akaashi and Kenma would think I am overreacting. Yahaba and I are in a fight. Akaashi has Iwachan’s phone. Maybe if I were smart enough at the time, I would have known he was gonna leave and I would have given his phone back to him. But.. I don’t think he would come even if I did call. He hates me._

          _“I hate you!”_ Dammit. Here it comes.

          Oikawa’s head started spinning. Memories began erupting from the past. Oikawa grabbed hold of his shirt and attempted to stable his breath. _“You used me, spoiled fucking brat!”_ The gruff voice continued to remind the brunette of the incident. As a result, the brunette clutched his eyes shut and made an effort to cast away his thoughts. However, the memories were too detailed to forget. The smell of light showers in early spring and the shattering sounds of glass from the old photo of he and Iwaizumi. _“I hope you die you fucking manipulator!”._

          Oikawa rose from the lying position he held on the ground. The tears came in running cascades down his cheek, filling his eyes with mist and blurry vision. Still shaking, the lanky brunette couldn’t keep quiet. He was slung over, staring down at the blood which escaped his nose due to the clash with pavement. Even as he had his hand clasped over his mouth, Oikawa bit his lip in effort to evaporate the small noises which bursted from his small body. “Oh, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa muttered out as small huffs and whimpers escaped his mouth, tears still rushing down his pale face, “I-I hate m..myself too”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ya think oikawa has it hard now, just wait for the next chapter HAHAHAimsorryHAHAHAnotreallyHAHAHA


	4. It’s Your Turn to Pick the Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa was looking forward to have a heavy and deep rest at home after what happened on his way back to his apartment. Instead, the brunette was engaged in an action that may traumatize him for years further down the road.
> 
> Meanwhile, Iwaizumi heads to a 24-hour movie store in the middle of the night. There, he comes across an artifact that reminds him of he and his friend during their second year of high school. However, he was interrupted by a friendly stranger that will later be of great importance to him in the near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously, for those who have trouble reading certain stuff (I know, VERy specific), I'm seriously warning ya'll,
> 
> but all I can say is yiketh™ that hurt. I really hope you all enjoy(ed) this chapter. I've felt really insecure with my writing, though, I am a little bit proud of this chapter specifically. It took a decent amount of time for me to work on mainly due to the first scene. It was extremely hard for me to produce. Extremely. meaningthatitmightsuccc ;)). Which is why I will most likely be later than my usually "produce every 7-10 days" schedule, for I have not even outlined the next chapter (properly, that is). But don't worry about that, that's my job. So, for now, happy reading!!

          “I’m home…” Oikawa sadly mumbled his greeting upon limping his way into the shared apartment. The brunette stopped. _Silence_. That could mean one of two things. Oikawa was either too quiet or his lover was asleep. Obviously, it is a given for what the lanky brunette wanted most.

          Oikawa removed his footwear beside the doorframe and made his way farther into the apartment, though, crouched down and on his tiptoes as if it were to make a difference. Slowly, Oikawa crept to the bedroom door. With caution, he placed his hand onto the handle and silently twisted the cold metal knob. The brunette moved the door only a centimeter and yet, Oikawa was not pleased to see what was lying on the floor.

          Empty vodka bottles.

          Bottles. _Plural_. Oikawa’s lover is certainly not the most enjoyable person to be with. However, he could be much more demeaning while drinking liquor. Overall, the brunette took that as his cue to sleep on the couch.

          “T-tooru.”

          Oikawa froze. Stayed ever-so-still. His beloved was awake and he definitely did not want to disturb him _now_ of all times..

          “Yes, my love?” Oikawa questioned while he began to silently, and slowly, turn around to face his companion. Nonetheless, the smaller man was not quick enough. But to his surprise, Oikawa was being hugged from behind with his boyfriend’s head buried into his left shoulder. “Are you tired? You should go to bed then if yo—”

          “I missed you.”

          “Oh? Well..”

          “I _really_ missed you,” The taller man stated, hugging his smaller companion tighter.

          Oikawa’s eyes grew wide when being held closer. In fact, he had to softly maneuver his body to confirm his childish mind. He was right. Oikawa began to blush at the realization that he could feel it. _He_ could feel _it_ in the small of his back. But, Oikawa was way too tired to be handled too carelessly due to the recent occurrences.

          “Uhh, sorry, hun. Not tonight.”

          “No.”

          _No? What do you mean ‘No.’?_

          Oikawa could feel a small tugging at the waistband of his khakis. As a result, panic started to creep up his bony spine. Yes, Oikawa has been thrown and jostled recklessly in bed. But never has he gotten raped by his boyfriend.

          But why worry now? His lover had a decent amount to drink causing him to think carelessly. In fact, Oikawa had more than a drink or two as well. Not to mention, he did have, what is considered, a panic attack not too long ago. Could it be feasible that his mind was just playing dirty tricks on him? Possibly. Or was he just overthinking? Definitely.

          There was another tug at the brunette’s pants. This time, harder. The pull brought Oikawa’s breeches to his mid thighs. Now, Oikawa was more than a _little_ panicked.

          “What the hell!?” Oikawa screamed as he spun around to face the taller man, pulling his pants up to refasten them. Though, his boyfriend only replied with a shove, causing the lanky brunette to stumble backward. The bottom of the khakis was caught underneath Oikawa’s heel, causing him to slip. Luckily, the back of the couch was there to catch him before he met yet another encounter with the floor. But, before he could move, Oikawa was pushed against the couch one more time by his boyfriend’s strong hands and was held there.

          Oikawa’s breathing grew heavy and labored. His heartbeat increased. He turned his head to the side and clamped his eyes shut. _This couldn’t get any worse._

          The taller man took a fist full of brunette hair and pulled down to the other side of the couch, causing Oikawa to tumble back into the cushions. The smaller man screamed as a result of the pain, eyes locked even tighter. He was convinced that he know had a bald spot on the back of his head. Though, that is the least of his worries as of now.

          Oikawa tried kicking his boyfriend, hoping that it would either damage him or distract him so the brunette could break free. However, the action only made the man move his hands from Oikawa’s hair to Oikawa’s wrists, holding him down even more.

          “Stop!” the small brunette cried, “Just stop it already!”

          In attempt to free himself, Oikawa tried to wiggle his wrists from his boyfriend’s grasp. Because of the sweat soaking his lover’s palms, the small brunette was finally able to break one wrist free. Taking his free hand to his advantage, Oikawa snatched a large amount of the taller man’s hair and pulling it in the opposite direction. Once letting go, the smaller man bucked his hips into the air to hit the other square in the jaw, causing him to stumble backward.

          Making an effort to flee from the scene, the brunette pushed himself off of the couch and headed toward the only exit he had. However, he did not make it far.

          Oikawa planted his foot on an empty vodka glass, shattering it due to his body weight. Caused by the broken glass in his foot, the small student could not put weight on his right leg on account of the pain, which resulted in him slowing down. Then, Oikawa was kicked from the behind, consequently making both his body and head crash into the door.

          Because the brunette’s head was hit with such immense force, his vision began to blur, his left eye began to swell, and drops of warm blood began run down his lips. Muffled sobs heaved from his lungs as he had difficulty inhaling and exhaling. Lying on his stomach, Oikawa had such a hard time breathing that he was convinced there was a weight on his back. And boy, was he right.

          Oikawa’s lover was straddling and applying pressure to his back, pulling down the smaller man’s pants for the last time, along with the underwear. The small brunette had lain there helplessly due to the lack of energy. Even if he did have some motivation in him left, Oikawa’s right foot was badly injured with broken glass still deeply rooted into the skin and muscle. The small brunette was tired, the blaring headache making the situation much worse. Oikawa Tooru had given up.

          To Oikawa’s surprised, he could feel his boyfriend’s saturated length caress his inner thigh. The brunette clasped his eyes shut and bit his bottom lip, doing his best to hold back tears. However, it did nothing but cause his throat to ache.

          _This is it. This is really going to happen. I, here and now, am going to get raped and I’m doing nothing to stop it. Nothing._

          The taller man then violently proceeded to thrust into his partner’s rectum. A loud, murderous scream was then harshly tore from Oikawa’s throat. The scream was long, deafening, and full of agony. He was sure someone, _anyone_ , could hear him from beyond the walls of his apartment. Though, he strongly doubted help would arrive any time soon.

          Oikawa was still violently wriggling his body due to sudden jerk of pain. His knees were still pounding against the carpet, making them bruised and red due to rug-burn. Inside, his stomach felt as though someone has stabbed him multiple times. His chest was still raging tight and his body was blaring with heat. The brunette was trying his best to accept the pain, to allow the horrible act to blow over.

          _If I do nothing, it will end sooner, right? It has to._

          Oikawa clenched the carpet in his hand, biting his lip once again. _Think happy thoughts, Oikawa, think happy. Think of Kenma and Akaashi and how gentle they can be. Think of Bokuto and Kuroo, their silly antics._ Oikawa repositioned his head from being face down into the carpet to resting on his left cheek. _Think of Matsu and Makki making inappropriate jokes during lunch._ A single teardrop rolled down the brunette’s left cheek. _Think of Iwa-chan._

          The other indulged deeper into Oikawa, causing the smaller man to have a cracked shriek rip from the pit of his stomach. Tears were heavily shed from the boy’s glistening eyes, resulting in cascades running down his pale cheeks. He could not lift himself from the ground. He could not kick. He could not scream. Instead, he had to be penetrated powerlessly.  


          Help did not arrive for Oikawa.

* * *

          “Y’know, we _could_ watch a movie or two considering we’re all free tomorrow,” Matsukawa suggested from the couch, “I’m kinda bored.”

          “Yes! We haven’t had movie night since the good ol’ seijou days,” Hanamaki responded while hopping onto the couch beside his boyfriend.

          “I’m up for it as long as you two don’t suck each other’s faces during the movie,” Iwaizumi grumbled.

          “Ok, then we get to pick the type of movie,” Hanamaki demanded.

          “Aaaaand you have to get it down at the DVD store,” Matsukawa added.

          “Er.. _fine_ , what do you guys want?”

          Hanamaki moved closer to his boyfriend. Pulling his hand up and placing it beside his mouth, the strawberry blonde leaned in to whisper into Matsukawa’s ear. Matsukawa nodded while listening. Once finished, he repeated the same actions and whispered back into Hanamaki’s ear. As soon as the two were both finished with concluding on what movie they wanted to watch, they gave their answer.

          “An alien movie,” the duo said in unison.

          “An alien movie?” Iwaizumi questioned as he stood up, “ An _alien_ movie?! I had to deal with this for years and I as soon as I get a break with this shit, you two knuckleheads want to watch an _alien_ movie?! Y’know what?! No! I’m not having it!” Iwaizumi crossed his arms and closed his eyes, proving that he was certain on his decision.

          “We make out when watching boring movies. So how badly do you want us to not su—”

          “Where’s the DVD store.”

* * *

          The sound of a bell was rung as Iwaizumi opened the door to the 24-hour DVD store. The store itself was relatively empty, seemed old, and reeked the nostalgic smell of old cassette tapes.

          Upon walking up to the counter, Iwaizumi spotted an old man who greeted him with gentle, toothy smile. _Lonely_ read the man’s face. In a way, the student felt empathetic toward the man.

          “Do you have any alien movies I could rent?” Iwaizumi asked. The man’s face lit up when he said that word. Rent.

          “In the left corner toward the back, son. There’s a whole section of space films under ‘Sci-Fi’,” The elder stated, pointing his finger into the direction.

          “Thank you.” The man responded with same toothy smile.

          The student slowly walked toward the back. With every step, Iwaizumi could spot the movies clearer and _clearer_. His chest tightened. Who knew he could recognize so many of them?

          Iwaizumi shuffled up to the number of films. He could recognize more than he would have ever predicted. He skimmed through the titles, looking for any of the favorite classics Oikawa showed him before. Until, one caught his attention by the neck. _Contact_.

          The film was based on an astronomer being interested upon the idea of contact on far away lands. She possessed the obsession by her father, who later died when she was nine. When the scientists grew older, she began monitoring for life beyond earth. Toward the end of the film, Iwaizumi remembers tearing up a little. Thankfully, Oikawa was unable to notice for he was too occupied crying himself.

          Grabbing the DVD holder and hugging it to his chest, Iwaizumi could tell he missed those nights while watching stupid alien movies with his best friend. He missed all of it and it was a damn shame.

          Iwaizumi began to remember what he said about Oikawa to Matsukawa and Hanamaki. Immediately, he began to regret it. _Should I take this movie to him? Should I tell him I’m sorry? Should I tell him I miss him?_

          The young man finally made his conclusion. He was going to see his old friend with a good movie. It would solve _many_ things.

* * *

        “Iwa-chan! Open up!”

          Iwaizumi padded down the main stairwell and stomped toward the entrance.

          “What?!” The slightly smaller student barked as he whipped open the front door, nearly hitting his friend.

          “Woah, there, Iwa-chan! Not the pretty face!”

          “What do you want?”

          “I brought a movie~”

          Iwaizumi peered down to the cover of the DVD disk. The front displayed a woman in a white dress shirt, sitting in front of a man while having satellite signals in the far background. The word ‘Contact’ was white in bold, displayed across the sky on the cover. The film looked.. _cheesy_.

          Iwaizumi began to sweat. Not _another_ Friday night of bad alien movies.

          “And I have studying to do.”

          “No! Iwa-chan!”

          The darker brunette began to close the door. “Bye, Shittykawa.”

          “Iwa-chaAaAaAaAan,” Oikawa whined while leaning his body weight onto the door in attempt to keep the door from closing.

          Iwaizumi pushed the door so hard, he was certain the door would be shut if he took another look. However, his friend’s foot was trapped in between the doorframe and the door itself.

          “..Ow.”

          Once Iwaizumi opened the door once more, Oikawa straightened himself out and gave his famous kicked-puppy look. The look wasn’t even remotely sad or convincing in any way. _But it sure as hell worked on Iwaizumi._

          “Fine. Don’t make a mess.”

          “Yay! So, I thought we should watch this movie considering that we are almost done with our second year and, oh!, it’ll be so exciting to be captain! _Icannotwaittocrushtobio-chanintoapulp_. You’ll help me right, Iwa-chan? Together, we can defeat him once and for all! Oh, and we’ll definitely demolish that bastard, Ushiwaka. Done for. They will be done for! Mwahaha!” Oikawa finished off while laughing menacingly, extending his arms out with his head leaned back.

          “God, I swear you’ve been watching too many of 'those' movies. You sound just like those crazy ass alien villains,” Iwaizumi said, making his way into the kitchen with Oikawa following directly behind him.

          “Silly, Iwa-chan, no one can simply watch too many alien movies.”

          “Tsk.”

          After the two friends gathered their snacks from the kitchen, they shuffled their way up the stairs to where they would be watching the film in Iwaizumi’s room.

          As soon as the students entered the room, Oikawa plopped himself upon his friend’s bed, snuggling himself under the warm blankets.

          “C’mon, Iwa-chan!”

          “Hold on, would ya? Give me a break,” the darker brunette stated as he rummaged through his desk in search of his laptop. Finally finding it under a stack of messy papers, Iwaizumi pulled out and moved toward his bunk.

          “Scootch it or lose it,” Iwaizumi said, gesturing with a wave of his free hand. Oikawa did exactly as he ordered and shifted himself farther down the bed. Iwaizumi then sat himself next to his friend, closely.

          “Disk,” Iwaizumi demanded, handing his hand out for the object. Oikawa handed his friend the disk, peering over Iwaizumi’s shoulder as he committed the action of setting up the movie.

          “Iwa-chan, I’m getting goosebumps already! Hurry up!” the brunette yelled into his comrade’s ear, the, gripping onto his left shoulder and vigorously shaking it.

          “God, stop it already! I’m trying to set up the movie, Shittykawa!”

          Iwaizumi then properly placed the disk into the computer. Oikawa’s eyes lit up once he saw the movie app icon bounce on the desktop.

          “Click it! Click it!” Oikawa aggressively shook his friend’s arm as he kneeled on the bed, “Click it, I say!”

          “I was going to click it until you stole my arm, dumbass! Sit down or I’ll hit you! And stop screaming!”

          “Aren’t your parents out of town?! And why are you so violent all time?! You're so cranky!”

          Iwaizumi then lifted a pillow behind his head and sent it forward, colliding with his friend’s head. As a result, Oikawa slid off of the bed. Luckily, it was a small distance.

          “Waaaaaah! Iwa-chan has anger issues!” Oikawa whined, fake crying as a he sat on the floor.

          Suddenly the sound of a movie opening was playing from the laptop, causing Oikawa to jump off the floor and onto the bed.

          The brunette wrapped his arm around his friend’s as he rested his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

          “Dumbass, you’re too close! It’s like a furnace in here!”

          “But, Iwa-chan, you’re nice and warm!”

          “Fine, just don’t drool on me.”

          The smaller boy only replied with ahum and a tighter grip on his friend’s arm. Though, Iwaizumi didn’t seem to mind it. Not one bit.

* * *

          “Contact? _Really_?”

          “Huh?” Iwaizumi’s faced was full of disgust. He turned around, preparing himself to knock out whoever said the statement into next week. But, he was surprised to see that the person would be Tamazaka Otome. The most popular girl in his university.

          “ _No_ , I didn’t mean it like _that_. Contact is a great movie, don’t get me wrong. But I would definitely go with some good ol’ Close Encounters or maybe even some X-Files if I’m up for it. But, I’m surprised. I see you around the university and you totally look like the typical guy that’s into _Jaws_ or the _King Kong_ movies and all that stuff. Y’know, the ripoff action movies... But, you actually have a great taste.”

          If anything, Iwaizumi was the one to be most shocked. Tamazaka Otome is an amazing athlete on the soccer team with the lighter side of brunette hair, which is cut just below her shoulders, and bring brown eyes to match. She’s a major flirt but definitely not a whore. The girl always a group of guys following her around the school. They even reminded him of a couple players on the old Karasuno team, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Though, Iwaizumi would be lying if he said he didn’t have his eyes linger longer than they should. Either way, why would _she_ , of all people, be in the nerdiest section of a movie store. Stating that it was _good taste._

          “Tamazaka Otome. First year,” the girl stated with her hand placed out for a handshake. Yet, all Iwaizumi could manage to do at the time was stare at her hand for a solid seven seven seconds with skepticism. _What is a chick like her talking to a guy like me?_

          Finally, he grasped her hand with his, giving a firm shake.

          “Iwaizumi Haj—”

          “Oh, I know,” the young girl interrupted with a smirk upon the curve of her lips. “I’ve seen many of your volleyball matches. You’re quite an intriguing athlete if I do say so myself. But why on earth are you here, in a rundown movie store, looking at alien movies at 2:30 in the morning?” the girl questioned as she cocked her hip, leaning her head to the side as she waited for an answer.

          “I could ask you the same thing.”

          “Ah, well you see, you aren’t. Because I asked you first and you’re going to give me an answer,” Tamazaka stated with a wink.

          “I’m hanging with some guys and we wanted to watch some old favorites, that’s all,” Iwaizumi spoke, ending with a shrug while peering down to the film.

          “So, I’m assuming that they are waiting for you? That’s sad. Wanted to get to know my new friend~”

          Iwaizumi just looked at her with a confused expression sprawled across his face. _Is she flirting with me, or is she making fun of me?_

          “Y’know, I could walk you back to wherever you’re staying,” the girl suggested with a bright smile.

          _Definitely flirting._

          “Sure,” Iwaizumi stated as he placed the film back down on shelf, “I would love to have some company with me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hajime, you were SUPPOSED to take the heckin' movie and go make out with your alien-obsessed-boyfriend but nOoOoOoOo you just HAD to leave the movie behind and follow the girl. have you ever watched a horror movie????? NEVER. FOLLOW. THE GIRL.


	5. You Have to Promise Me This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Iwaizumi is walking home, he suddenly runs into an acquaintance of his, whom informs him of his friend's critical condition. After they compromise to compose a plan in the near future, Iwaizumi's sleep is abruptly paused due to a phone call. A phone call in which he promises to keep his mouth shut, even if it means that his hurting friend may be harmed once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter is trash and 90% dialogue im so sorry but i had to get something up. i would also like to adress that i will be unable to upload a new chapter for a couple weeks for i will be busy. thank you for undertsanding ;)

“Be willing to have it so.

Acceptance of what has happened

is the first step to overcoming the consequences

of any misfortune.”

\- William James

          Iwaizumi was not an idiot. Here, walking beside him, was a beautiful, confident, young lady by the name of Tamazaka Otome. And, _damn_ , she just had to be Iwaizumi’s… ‘type’, which would include preferences of brown, wavy hair, athletically built, and, for the strangest reason, a pompous personality.

          As a result, Iwaizumi had to be smart. If he _really_ liked this Tamazaka girl, then taking her to Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s apartment would be the last thing on Iwaizumi’s list of agendas. Instead, the man did not want this girl to be traumatized or overwhelmed by his weird taste in friends.

          So, the male student believed it was best to tell his new friend that he was going to be watching a film with his colleagues at his place. It wasn’t too big of a lie. Besides, she couldn’t have known better.

          While the two made their way down the hall of Iwaizumi’s apartment complex, they each swapped memories throughout their time in high school, which then lead to the two new friends discussing the sports in which they play.

          “What position do you play in soccer?” Iwaizumi questioned, attempting to keep the conversation going.

          “You know soccer positions?” Tamazaka laughed, turning her head toward the taller man, giving him a questionable look.

          “...No.” _Dammit ._ Iwaizumi had to admit that he didn’t know soccer positions. Otherwise, it could turn ugly whereas the student would have to keep constructing one lie after another. Iwaizumi just wasn’t built like that. He would rather not unimpress his friend. “In fact, I know exactly _nothing_ about soccer.”

          Turns out, the taller man made a relatively smart move. He ended up making Tamazaka laugh and playfully slap his arm. _Score ._

          “Well, to answer your question, I play center midfielder,” the girl stated after her small giggles.

          “Hmm,” was all Iwaizumi could reply with.

          “Do you know what that is?”

          “Absolutely not.”

          “ _Well_ , the center midfielder is, in my opinion, the second most important position in the sport. They’re sort of, hmm.., the setters of soccer if you will? They’re usually identified as the leaders of the team, y’know, the control tower in a sense. It would be very difficult to play the game without them.”

          “You know volleyball positions?” Iwaizumi asked jokingly.

          “Yes… In fact, I know _a lot_ of a positions,” the girl said with a smirk. And, god, it was the worst thing to say as the two entered the elevator where they would be _alone_ and, worst of all, it would be _secluded_. And did Iwaizumi still have alcohol in his system? Because it’s abnormal for the space in his pants to grow tight just from one elevator, just from one sentence.

          Iwaizumi finally pressed his finger over the button to the fourth floor, causing it to light up just as the doors began to close. He then shuffled back, standing directly next to the _really pretty girl._

          It was quiet and the taller student feared that he may have made a mistake by not replying to what Tamazaka originally said. And it was really starting to get to him.

          Peering down to his left side, he could see the girl’s hands. They were long, but not too long, and very slender. Her hands seemed soft and nearly delicate to the point to where he could call them fragile. They appeared to be small. _Hmm, not even the rain has such small hands._

          The two were so close. It was so real. If he really wanted to, Iwaizumi could reach down and take those delicate hands into his own. Or, he could use own hands to cup her light pink cheeks as he passionately smashed his pair of lips against her own soft pair.

          Maybe, Iwaizumi could even take his right hand and slam it against the elevator’s emergency stop button. Then, form fists around her silky, light blue blouse as he viciously tore it off her torso. The taller student would take his same broad hands and use them to caress his new friend’s body. Iwaizumi would need to place his palm against her wet mouth. Otherwise, she would loudly moan his name.

      _“Iwa-chan~”_

          Iwaizumi began to throw a coughing fit just as the elevator doors started to open wide.

          “Hey, are you okay?” Tamazaka asked with her a worried expression, softly placing her small, yet long, hand on the volleyball player’s back.

          “Yeah, I’m fine,” Iwaizumi managed to choke out with his mouth still buried in the crook of his elbow. He then lifted his gaze from his arm, sent a reassuring smile to his friend, and quickly scurried out of the elevator. Tamazaka slowly trailed behind him, still confused.

          After they made their way farther down the hall, Iwaizumi pointed to a door with the number 41 on the surface.

          “This is me,” Iwaizumi gently stated with a smile, standing before his door.

          _“Awe~”_ the younger girl sang with an exaggerated frown. Despite how sad she _pretended_ to act, Tamazaka quickly grabbed hold of her larger friend’s wrist as she withdrawn a marker from her pocket.

          Just before Iwaizumi was able to comprehend what the girl was writing on his arm, her hand intervened.

          “Don’t look yet!” Iwaizumi followed orders and peered away, allowing the girl to continue her task before. “Done!” Finally, the taller of the two moved his head to look at the digits.

          _xxx-539-7204_

          Iwaizumi finally looked up to see Tamazaka, already half way, running down the hall with her hand in the air as she aggressively waved toward her friend.

          “See you tomorrow in class, Iwa-san!”

          _It’s Iwa-chan._

* * *

 

          After watching the brunette finally entered the elevator once again, Iwaizumi is finally hit with reality. He doesn’t have keys or a phone. _God, I didn’t think this through._ But who knew a black cat coming around the corner could be so damn lucky.

          “Hey, buddy! I thought I heard someone call your name.”

          Iwaizumi then peered up from the floor to see the person with a familiar voice, whom was exiting his friend’s door.

          “Went ‘nd got your phone and keys by the way,” Kuroo stated, pulling Iwaizumi’s belongings out of his pocket as he walked closer to him.

          The smaller student was _relieved_ . “Thank you _sooo_ much.”

          “No problem, man. Bo fuckin’ passed out. Ha! Then Akaashi fell asleep. So I got bored and went to go get your shit,” Kuroo finished off with a wink in addition to handguns.

          “Thank you, really. For _everything_.”

          “Promise me one thing though..”

          “And what’s that?” Iwaizumi asked with a curious expression sprawled across his face, replacing the grateful one.

          “I need your help in, um..” Kuroo shifted his gaze down to the floor and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, Oikawa…”

          “If it has anything to deal with Oikawa I _really_ prefer to not get involved.”

          Kuroo shot his head back up. “Wait, can you please listen to me for a sec?” the student asked, suddenly sounding desperate. Replying with a sigh, Iwaizumi nodded for the other to resume.

          “Oikawa has been in a _really_ bad spot, man. Still is. He was fine for a while, here in Tokyo, but soon he started to exact skittish and would flinch when Bo would aggressively wrap his arm around him. I didn’t think anything of it until I started to notice the bruises—”

          “Bruises?!” the shorter man almost yelled too loud.

          “Yeah. Bo just blamed volleyball. I thought he got mugged one night or somethin’ and it, I don’t know, put him off somehow?”

          Iwaizumi peered down and started to pick at his lower lip, _thinking_.

          “But get this. Kenma came up here to stay for a weekend. He’s met Oikawa a couple times before but when we got together with the crew, Kenma suspected something was wrong the guy. When I gave him the details on how he has been behaving, he immediately suspected abuse from a friend or relative. At first, I thought he was. just. plain. crazy. But now, it’s really starting to make sense,” the taller student said, finishing off with a shrug.

          Iwaizumi kept his eyes on the floor. He felt as though he had someone applying weight on his chest in attempt to stop his breathing. _“Fucking Tooru ran off on me because he had someone waiting for him at home!” “I hate him! I hate him so fucking much! Why did he have to come back in my life?”_ The student’s legs started to tremble, his stomach began to grow weak once more. _“I don’t know. Maybe he was already in a bad spot with the person who was waiting for him at home.”_

          _Damn, Hanamaki and his stupid assumptions._

          It’s no lie. Iwaizumi Hajime is oblivious at times. He knew his best friend well so why didn’t he pick up on the way Oikawa ran home after the coffee shop? Or how he seemed so grateful to spend time with his friends? Or the way he _changed ?_

          “Would you mind coming inside?”

          “No, not at all.”

          The two entered the apartment with Iwaizumi leading the way to the living room. Iwaizumi then gestured to the couch, implying that his guest should take a seat.

          “Do you want anything to drink?”

          “Nah, I’m good.”

          “Alright. You said that Kenma’s prediction was starting to make sense, right?” Iwaizumi questioned, immediately cutting to the chase.

          “Yeah, I did say that.” Kuroo leaned back, folding his hands behind his head.

          “Could you… explain? Like, give me examples on how it connects?”

          “Was planning on it. So, today, just when you left, Oikawa’s boyfriend called..”

          “Oikawa’s boyfriend?”

          “Yeah, the guy rarely lets Oikawa hang with the crew. It’s like the dude has him on a leash or some shit. Even Oikawa acts _completely_ different around him. Trying to impress him I guess?”

          Iwaizumi stood up and ran his hand through his hair, trying his best to consume all the information at once. “Okay, continue.”

          “Basically, the guy called and Oikawa looked a lil’ freaked out. I decided I just had enough of him. So I took Oikawa’s phone from his hand and begged me to stop. When I ended the call, Oikawa just screamed at me, started crying like a baby, and said stuff like he was gonna die or something. Anyway, Oikawa called him back and said he was heading home. It’s pathetic. Oikawa? Of _all_ people, why would _he_ be under someone else’s command?”

          “So, what you’re asking is..?” Iwaizumi questioned with his hands on his hips, turning around to face his quest.

          “You used to be Oikawa’s best pal, right? I tried asking what was really going on before but Oikawa just brushed it off. I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be different with you.”

          “I have a better idea.”

          “I’m listening,” Kuroo softly stated as he leaned closer, placing his elbows on his knees.

          “We already know that Oikawa’s boyfriend is no good. So why don’t we just break them up?”

          The taller man stood up. “O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is not yet done! The ship has weather’d every rack, but the prize we sought is not yet won!” Kuroo screamed with a finger pointed toward the ceiling. The student then turned to his host, shaking hands and thanking him.

          “We’ll compose a plan some other time,” Iwaizumi began as he ventured into the kitchen and grabbed a sticky note, “but for now, here’s my number,” the student spoke, giving his acquaintance the note.

          “Alright! I’ll make sure to get the rest of the crew on deck! Thank you, good sir,” the taller man finished with a bow as he exited the apartment.

          Iwaizumi stood there, waving and giving a gentle smile and stopped as soon as the other disappeared.

          The young man turned and shuffled to the kitchen. There, he opened the same empty fridge to grab a couple of beer bottles. It probably was not smart of him to start drinking _again_ considering how much alcohol was _still_ in his system.

          Either way, he slammed the refrigerator door shut and turned to dig in a small drawer to where he would find the bottle opener. Once he opened his beverage, he took the glass bottle to his soft lips and swallowed several gulps of liquid. He spit the beer out.

          It did not agree with him.

          Given how early it is in the morning with the addition of his adventures, Iwaizumi declared it was _way_ past his curfew. He would have to work with his feelings in the (later) morning.

* * *

          The blaring sound of the Godzilla soundtrack invaded the silence in the only bedroom of the apartment. It really did not help the student’s pounding headache. _But i_ _t’s never too early for a hangover._

          Iwaizumi’s phone was moving around the nightstand due to the powerful vibration. The student viciously grabbed his phone to put his alarm to rest, proving that he was awake for the morning.

          But it was not morning. It was not alarm. And, truthfully, Iwaizumi was not awake. Instead, it was a call interrupting his sleep.

          Iwaizumi presumed it was a furious Hanamaki. Upset that Iwaizumi did not return the movie rather than being upset that he ditched them.

          The young man was too tired to know that it was not Hanamaki, but an unknown caller. Either way, Iwaizumi picked up the call.

          “Iwaizumi Hajime,” he slowly said with a raspy morning voice.

          “I-Iwa-chan? Is tha… that really y-you?” soft weeps and heavy breathing were heard on the other end.

          That’s when it hit him. Iwaizumi shot up from his reclined position, still holding his phone to his right ear. Last night, the discussion with Kuroo was not a dream. Despite being a playful guy and an all-around prankster, Kuroo certainly didn’t seem to be joking.

          “Oikawa? Oh, _fuck_ , are you okay? What’s wrong?” the young man quickly spoke, waiting to get an answer.

          He only got muffled sobs as a reply before the line went silent.

          “Oikawa? Oikawa, are you there?” Iwaizumi, anxiously asked as he voice raised more as he spoke.

          “I’m here,” the brunette on the other end stated, lightly whispering with the addition of a shaking voice.

          “Okay. Good, good. That’s good. Can you tell me what happened?”

          “Well,” Oikawa stated, breathing still heavy, “I was walking home…”

          “Okay.”

          “Aaand, I st-started thinking ‘bout stuff and… ” Oikawa started to breathe heavy, _heavier_.

          “What kind of stuff?”

          “Just, _stuff._ But I did have an.. an anxiety attack.”

          “Oh, Oikawa, I’m—”

          “I-it get’s worse.”

          “Oikawa, just tell me what happened, okay?”

          “But you h-have to promise me somethin’”

          “Anything.”

          “Promise… you won’t yell? Or get mad? A-actually, I’m fine with that. Just.. just don’t tell anyone? Not even the cops, okay?”

          Iwaizumi’s blood started to boil. _Whoever this man was, he sure as hell was going to receive a beat-down. Why is Oikawa protecting this man? What is he doing to cause Oikawa to behave this way? To have bruises? To keep quiet from the cops?_

          The man took a deep breath. If he weren't told what has happened, there’s a chance _nothing_ would change. Oikawa might still be at risk. If Iwaizumi or anybody were to call the police, Oikawa and his _disgusting_ boyfriend might flee.

          “Iwa-chan?”

          “I’m here. I’m here, Oikawa. I’m not going anywhere.”

          “So, do you? Do you promise?”

          “I _promise_. I swear on my life.”

          “O-okay,” the light brunette’s voice started to break once more, the heavy breathes started to creep in, and the muffled sobs appeared. “Iwa-ch..Iwa-chan, I..” Oikawa began, but the soft cries interrupted him once again.

          “It’s okay. Take your time,” Iwaizumi, softly and quietly, spoke to reassure his friend.

          

          

          “Iwa-chan, I g-got ra..raped!”

          

          

          

         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kuroo is a dork AND a smarty pants. i saw the chance and i took it okay 
> 
> (plus i love fics where kuroo and oiks are buddies and kuroo looks out for oiks awe hell yeah)


	6. Captain's Fallen Overboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi gets an abrupt and disturbing phone call from Oikawa in the middle of the night. Though, Iwaizumi is unable to get in contact with his friend despite the previous call. As a result, Iwaizumi grows suspicious. To make matters worse, he is unable to get in touch with anyone else other than a new friend.
> 
> Bonus: flashback of Oikawa realizing he's gay for Iwachan.
> 
>  
> 
> also, let me clarify something: the legal drinking age in Japan is 20 just saying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to sincerely apologize for being unable to upload this chapter in a shorter amount of time. i have gotten an incredible increase in the workload at my high school this year. not to mention, i am currently dealing with an abundance of mental, family, friend, and money issues. thank you all for understanding. i haven't replied to everyone's comments but thank you so so so so so much. i really needed it. i am so happy to see there are such kind people in the world. <33

          

          

          He heard it just in time. Iwaizumi heard it loud and clear just before the line went dead.  
Oikawa, his best friend since childhood, had been raped and Iwaizumi can’t tell a single soul. Afterall, he did make a promise.

          But will that promise help Oikawa in the end? Will it save him? If it will save anyone, it would be the _damn_ boyfriend Iwaizumi believed to be the rapist.

          This only frustrated the man even more. The words are _ringing_ in his ears. Iwaizumi has a continuous throb just _growing_ in the deep pit of his stomach. Oh, how did he wish that the ache was only from his hangover.

          He tightened his grasp on the phone in his hand.

          “God _fucking_ dammit!” the man screamed before he pitched the device across the room, shattering it against the dark grey wall. After the phone was propelled, next was a shoe. Soon after was the annoying alarm clock that the man has always hated, which finally left a hole in the wall. “Fuck it! Fuck it all!”

          But Iwaizumi didn’t stop there. Hell, he didn’t give one single damn that he made the hole that he would have to later explain to his landlord. In fact, he decided to make that hole larger by railing his right heel into the wall multiple times.

          Iwaizumi began to scream. He screamed at the top of his lungs. His voice grew raspy and weak and he was certain that his lungs were going to burst like pipes. To top things off, Iwaizumi decided to cause more destruction to his bedroom by savagely yanking the drawers apart from the dresser, throwing them across the room as well.

          Iwaizumi finally stood still in the middle of the chaotic mess.

          During the fall, a shatter was heard through the noise of clothes falling to the ground. Iwaizumi walked through the clutter of his wardrobe and other items to see the last photo he had of him and Oikawa. The frame was broken and the glass was shattered due to the fall. But the picture, overall, was okay.

          In the photo, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were nine years old. Oikawa had one gap in his mouth due to a missing tooth from when Iwaizumi spiked into his face. The accident aside, the small brunette still gave off a wide, bright smile and had his arm draped over his friend. The action was a little difficult for the boy because _Iwaizumi_ was the taller one. But no one cared about height at the time. No one cared about anything.

          And that was very painful for the man to see. To see how pure and happy Oikawa had been. And how small they were. How _small_ they were. Oikawa’s biggest fear at the time would have to be falling from the trees or being chased by Iwaizumi with a beetle in his hand.

          Obviously, Oikawa’s fear of things have changed.

          The student fell to his knees and kept his head down, tears welling in his eyes as he stared at the photo.

          _Was this why he left home? Was it because he didn’t want anyone to know? Didn’t want anyone to get hurt?_

          Oh, someone was hurt. And someone was hurting badly.

          “If he just stayed..” Iwaizumi spoke aloud, voice cracking as he reached out for the photograph before him. “If he just stayed, I could have protected him” the student whispered as his grip on the photograph tightened, ultimately causing the edges of the photograph to crinkle.  
Iwaizumi was pissed, yeah. But his whole body trembled with regret. He regrets what he said to Hanamaki and Matsukawa. He began to regret ignoring Oikawa while they were still at Bokuto’s apartment.

          “If _I_ just _fucking_ stayed, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt!” Iwaizumi screamed. But the scream was drowned by the overwhelming silence Iwaizumi had to endure.  
“I hate myself,” Iwaizumi silently stated with no emotion, staring blankly at the photo. “I hate myself,” he repeated.

          Iwaizumi stayed kneeling for a while, then moved to lie on his side before the lack of rest got the better of him, finally sending him into a deep slumber.

* * *

          Iwaizumi’s eyes slowly opened due to the sharp pain of a headache. Rising out of the mess of clothes, the student harshly rubbed the aching side of his head.

          But before the overwhelming panic began to seep throughout his body, the alcohol in Iwaizumi’s stomach aggressively stirs, causing the man to scramble to his feet in an attempt to reach the toilet. However, he failed miserably at the task. Instead, Iwaizumi heaved the chemicals from his stomach and onto the floor just outside his bedroom.

      _Well, that’s just great, yeah?_

          Iwaizumi stares down at the vomit, knowing very well that he would have to clean it up eventually. But, his mind is no longer focused on the mess. Now that he no longer needs to rush to the toilet, Iwaizumi’s thoughts retrace to the night before.

          The phone call.

          He spins around to run back into his room, bare feet slapping against the wooden floor. Once Iwaizumi reaches the bundle of clothes on his floor, he lands on his hand and knees to dig into the pile of items.

          “Where is it. Where is it. Where is it,” the students mumbles to himself, searching amongst the jumble of his wardrobe. “Aha! There you are!” Iwaizumi exclaims, raising the item into the air. Slowly, he lowers the object, lightly tracing the shattered screen with his calloused fingers. Obviously, the phone would suffer damage due to the impact with the wall. But, Iwaizumi doesn’t care about the phone’s condition.

          Luckily, the device still works well. And instinctively, Iwaizumi presses the phone app to where he dials the number from the night before.

          “The person you are trying to reach is not av—”

          “Damn.”

          There was a knock at the door.

          Iwaizumi’s body grew tense. His heart stammered as he blood began to freeze over his body. He came to the realization of why someone could possibly be knocking at his place when it’s too early in the morning for college students. Especially, college students that were _drinking_. Not to mention, how abrupt the phone call ending was. The silenced line could mean many things. One, Oikawa’s phone died. Two, Oikawa forgot to pay the phone bill. Or three, something happened to Oikawa.. _again_.

          The knocking grew from knocking with knuckles to pounding with a fist. Meaning, whoever was on the other side, was urgent to see Iwaizumi. As a result, the man stumbled to his feet, quickly exiting his room to reach the door.

          “Sir, are you Iwaizumi Hajime?”

          Iwaizumi’s eyes grew wide. Before he stood two large officers in his doorway. Now, his heart really was stammering. His breathing turned into short breaths and he could feel his leg move up and down in anticipation.

          _Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Oikawa is dead. Hurry up, you fuckhead. Just tell me Oikawa is dead already._

          Iwaizumi could already feel the tears welling in his eyes. His throat grew achingly tight and the dryness in his mouth _really wasn’t helping it._ In addition, the student’s stomach grew weak as his ears could hear nothing but his heartbeat.

          “Iwaizumi-kun, may we come in? Maybe even ask you some questions?”

          Dammit. Iwaizumi left his bedroom door open, leading to the cops seeing the mess and being suspicious of his behavior. Not only that, there is just... vomit.. casually _lying_ in front of his door. Furthermore, the student also left beer bottles on the counter.

          Despite asking for approval to enter the man’s household, the two police officers intruded the apartment.

          “Hey! Don’t you need a warrant or something?” Iwaizumi aggressively asked, shifting his body around to face the two uninvited guest.

          “Iwaizumi-kun, how old are you?” the taller of the two officers asked from the kitchen. Due to the question, Iwaizumi predicted that the man has found the beer bottles. Great.

          “Twenty.” the small student (compared to the officer) crossed his arms as he leaned against one of the kitchen walls.

          Despite being truthful, Iwaizumi was sent a skeptical look from the officer. “Whatever you say… _Ew is that puke?”_

          “Iwaizumi-kun, may I ask what could have possibly occurred last night that startled an older woman down the hall?” The more _polite_ officer asked behind him. “Was there, potentially, a fight?”

          Now, Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to do. _Obviously_ , Iwaizumi made his promise on keeping this secret to himself. However, he _could_ spill Oikawa’s predicament in hope to help the situation. Though, that could get his friend in trouble. So, as lousy as it sounds, Iwaizumi will keep his mouth shut.

          He’s frustrated, angry, and most importantly, tired. Not to mention, he’s hungover, putting Iwaizumi in an already worse mood. And there’s nothing he can do at the moment. Well, other than trying to make excuses on why his room is such a mess and why his neighbors heard screaming in the middle of the night.

* * *

 

          Roughly two weeks after the damaging phone call with Oikawa, Iwaizumi could not get a reach of his friend. In the time in between, the student attempted to reach out to Oikawa’s friends. Though, they too seemed unreachable.

          Iwaizumi made the effort to seek Oikawa is different ways, however. The student decided that this time, Iwaizumi would not give up the search for his partner.

          Unfortunately, the shorter student gave _his_ number to Kuroo, meaning, it would be impossible for Iwaizumi to call the man. Instead, Iwaizumi visited both he and Bokuto’s apartments. Though, they seemed to be busy as well.

          Despite wanting to find his friend so desperately due to the certain circumstances, Iwaizumi knew it would be best to _“not go too far”_. For example, Iwaizumi wanted to put up missing posters for Oikawa. But, he knew it would be best to not commit the act for it holds the possibility of the police interfering... _again_. Instead, Iwaizumi met up with a friend. He really needed it.

* * *

 

          “Sorry that I’m late.”

          “ _Haha_ , no worries! Thought you’d never call,” the brunette finished with a smug across her face.

          “Yeah… Sorry, Tamazaka-san,” Iwaizumi stated while scratching the back of his neck, a sullen look sprawled on his face to hide the blush.

          The young man pulled out the chair beside the other student, keeping his gaze locked on his surroundings of beige walls and book posters in an attempt to prevent any possibility of awkward eye contact. “Of all places, why a coffee shop..” the man grumbled under his voice.

          “What’s wrong, Iwa-san? Not a fan of coffee?” Tamazaka said while smiling. Clearly, her face didn’t say ‘what’s wrong?’. Instead, her face stated, ‘well, I guess we’re getting coffee next time!’.

          “What’s with that nickname anyway?” Iwaizumi gruffly asked, leaning back in his chair to be prepared for whatever response he received from his friend.

          “Iwaizumi-san is a mouthful! What happens when I’m in danger and I need you and your bara arms to come rescue me?!”

          “Bara ar—”

          “Not to mention! The name is so cute!” the girl leaned forward to rest her chin in the palm of her hand. Then, giving a soft wink.

          Iwaizumi quickly turned his head away for a moment.

          “Well then, for—”

* * *

 

          “How long are you gonna keep calling me that?”

          “Call you what?”

          “ _Idiot_ , how long are you going to keep calling me that stupid childish nickname!”

          “Sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Iwa-chan, I’m too busy doing my work,” the brunette sassily states as he aggressively places his pencil onto the sheet of paper, kicking his feet in the air.

          “What work? I only see drawings of… snot?”

          “Aliens, Iwa-chan! Aliens!”

          _“See, that’s the nickname I’m talking about!_ ” Iwaizumi yelled, now standing on his knees, getting closer to Oikawa as they’re, well... were, doing their schoolwork on the ace’s bed.

          “What nickname are you talking about?” Oikawa silently muttered, acting as if he didn’t know any better.

          “The name you gave me since we were, oh I don’t know, _kids_.”

          “What kids?”

          “ _Oikawa_.”

          “Who’s Oikawa?”

          “Listen, _Shittykawa_!”

          The brunette lifted himself off of his stomach and onto his knees, getting into his friend’s face. “ _Fine_ , how long are you gonna use _that_ name, huh?”

          “For as long as you’re shitty.” Iwaizumi states with a deadpan and emotionless expression.

          “That is so rude, Iwa-chan! Bleh!” the brunette stated, pulling at his eye and sticking his tongue out.

          “I gave you my answer, what’s yours?!”

          Oikawa sat back down on his knees, smiling. “Well, _Iwa-chan_ , I’m going to keep calling you Iwa-chan for as long as you _are_ Iwa-chan!”

          _That's pathetic._ Iwaizumi wanted to state. But to some degree, the sentence had a small, warm feeling left nestled in the pit of the boy’s stomach. But, being stubborn as always, Iwaizumi can’t let his friend see the soft side of him or else it will be used against him. So, Iwaizumi mumbled under his breath, “and yet they always say to be yourself…”

          “Mean, Iwa-chan! That is _so_ mean!” Oikawa exclaimed, turning around to grab a pillow from the corner of the bed. “Bad! Go to your room!”

          “I am in my room!”

          Iwaizumi returns to working on his anatomy packet. And Oikawa, as usually, pouts and stares at his friend before resuming to his own work. And at this point, Oikawa assumes it would be best to stop pestering his friend. Especially with the amount of time they spent fooling around instead of _actually_ finishing their schoolwork. Oikawa knows to stop.  
But he’s stuck on an anatomy question.

          “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers softly, still staring down at the problem while composing his question in his head. “Iwa-chan, I don’t understand what…,” the boy begins, speaking his word louder. However, he isn’t capable of finishing his sentence. Because when Oikawa rises his gaze from the paper, he finds that his eyes are locked on his friend’s, his face only inches away from Iwaizumi.

          Oikawa get’s scared. Not because there’s a chance Iwaizumi will smack him in the face, stating that his personal space is invaded, _though that is likely to happen._

          No, Oikawa is scared because there’s this strange flutter spreading throughout his body. The brunette knows that every time he makes an insulting remark about Iwaizumi’s appearance, it’s not because he’s ugly. No, Oikawa just wants to be a little shit and provoke his friend, maybe even test his boundaries if he’s in the mood.

          Oikawa definitely should be the one to know the best of Iwaizumi’s attractive image. In fact, some of his traits had the pest brunette a little bit jealous. But right now, Oikawa is stunned by the hidden freckles sprawled across his friend’s tan cheeks, indicating too much sun. Or how Oikawa feels lost in Iwaizumi’s dark, green eyes.

          This time, though, this time is an exception. For Oikawa is not feeling jealous, rather, he is feeling— is feeling the right word?

          Feeling what? He’s… he’s…

          “Hello?? Earth to Assikawa!”

          “Huh?”

          “Wow, you really answer to that?”

          Oikawa aggressively blinks multiple times, shaking his head the slightest. The boy takes note that Iwaizumi is no longer centimeters away from his face. Meaning, he probably thought Oikawa looked like an idiot.

          Well, Iwaizumi usually thinks that. It’s just that, Oikawa would have preferred if he hadn’t actually done that.

          “Oikawa? You good? I mean, just now—”

          “I..uh,” the brunette’s voice cracked as he heavily breathed out.

          “Boys! Dinner is ready!”

        _Bless your soul, Iwaizumi-san._

* * *

 

          Iwaizumi’s assumption was correct. Despite having to meet up with her in a coffee shop and being reminded of the incident a couple weeks back, Iwaizumi is thankful he met up with Tamazaka. Iwaizumi is thankful that he has someone reasonable, as unreasonable as she is, during this mess of times.

          Well, because every time Iwaizumi tries discussing this with Hanamaki or Matsukawa, they say, uninterested, _“you should just talk to him”_. But when he counteracts that statement, stating that he can’t simply just _talk to him_ , they also say, uninterested, _“then I don’ know what to tell ya”._

        _Yeah, that sure helps a lot. Thanks a lot, you guys!_

          … Even though he hasn’t actually mentioned Oikawa’s conditions nor his friend himself to Tamaza.

          “Pathetic,” Iwaizumi grumbles.

          “Listen, I know that this has a lot of sugar and it’s not your cup of tea, _haha_ ya see what I did there?” Tamaka fakes a cough, coming back from the counter. “But this is not your drink so buzz off!”

          The boy would apologize for the miscommunication, but he just squints up at Tamaza, having a confused expression sprawled across his face as she placed herself in her seat.

          “Hmph.”

          “Well, _anyway_ ~, you still have to tell me more about yourself! I’m the one that did all the talking!”

          “Yeah, because that’s all you ever do.”

          “Wow, you really _are_ mean,” Tamazaka said with her voiced lowered. Iwaizumi couldn’t help himself but give a soft chuckle. The girl pouted in response.

          “Hey,” she started once more, poking the boy across from her. “We should go on an actual date sometime,” Tamazaka said, with a fond smile.

          And Iwaizumi could tell this wasn’t another joke. He was in absolute shock when replying to her.“Uh,” he began to blush, “Sure?”

          “Terrific!” she exclaimed when standing up. “Well, I must be off! Bye!”

          Iwaizumi was confused, gaping from the situation that just occurred. He couldn’t do anything, not even respond. Instead, he just waved to the pretty brunette girl across the café, blushing from ear to ear.

          “Oh! And stop texting like an old man!”

          “Why you little—”

* * *

 

          Oikawa is still confused. Confused about what happened the evening he was supposed to do his homework. Just confused by the way his heart began to flutter.

          Oikawa would never admit it. Well, he probably didn’t even fully comprehend it. But at that moment, Oikawa become a _little_ infatuated with his best friend.

          Though, as stubborn as always, Oikawa had to convince himself otherwise. In translation, Oikawa would point out all of Iwaizumi’s nasty personality traits, the flaws in his appearance, and _most importantly_ , Oikawa would convince himself that he could live without his comrade.

          But before he makes any move, Oikawa gets stopped in the hallway by a young, cute girl.

          Oikawa was originally on his way to his locker to prepare for dismissal when a trail of short footsteps was right on his tail.

          “Um..,” the voice was barely audible at first, “Oikawa-san!”

          The brunette quickly turned to see a small girl, standing in the middle of the hallway. Her figure was petite, having a short, light brown bob with a purple bow clasping her bangs to the side. A blush covered her face while her eyes were clamped shut as she tightly held a wrinkled letter close to her chest.

          “Yep! That’s me!” the brunette cheered., knowing where this is going. But Oikawa began to feel sick in the pit of his stomach. Usually, the girls that chase him around the school are confident and aren’t necessarily afraid of Oikawa nor the fact that he might reject him.

          Though, this case was different. This young, seems sweet, girl. She’s gotten the nerve to ask out her crush despite how nervous she seems. The girl’s got guts. Oikawa feels bad for rejecting—

          “Please give this to Iwaizumi Hajime-san!”

  _Oh._

          Oikawa didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stared at the pastel pink envelope, stared at the girl, then stared back to the envelope. The young girl started to shiver with anticipation for Oikawa’s response.

          “I’ll make sure this will get to him!” Oikawa finally exclaimed with the fakest smile he ever wore as he yanked the envelope from the small girl’s grip.

          “O-oh, thank you…”

          The brunette turned on his heels to move in the direction he was originally walking in. Still, the same smile plastered on his face, envelope crinkled in his hand as he held it almost too tightly. Nonetheless, Oikawa didn’t give a damn.

          Rather than making a stop at his locker, Oikawa just headed out of the school doors. He didn’t bother waiting for his friend. The brunette hoped, no, he _prayed_ that Iwaizumi wouldn’t notice him running to his house, tears welling up in his eyes.

          After what seemed like forever, Oikawa managed to reach his driveway. As soon as he pulled the front door open and slammed it shut, the brunette put his back to the wall and slid down, took a deep breath, and began to _bawl_. His eyes were burning from the tears. His sobs echoed loudly throughout the house. Oikawa was convinced his neighbors could hear him.

          Without wasting a minute longer, Oikawa aggressively grabbed the pink envelope that sat right next to him. The boy didn’t care about the _stupid_ letter. In fact, he tore the envelope straight down the middle, sending the actual letter flying halfway down the foyer.

          Oikawa pathetically got onto his knees, crawling across the cold, white tile to retrieve the letter. Oikawa’s tears still fell heavily as he slumped over the note. The boy began to sob harder.

         

_Hello, Iwaizumi-san!_

_You don’t know me, but I’m an_ admirer from _the grade below you! I’ve liked you for a very long time but haven’t had the courage to say or do anything. That is until I bumped into you in the hallway and spilled all my notes and flashcards (In reality, I was just trying to avoid eye contact HAHA). Although I was the one that bumped into YOU, you were kind enough to help me even after the bell had rung! Not only that, you had a very soft smile on AND talked to me a bit. You seem very kind, Iwaizumi-san! We should get to know another! Below, my number is written if you would like to talk :) Please accept my confession, Iwaizumi-san!_  
_xxx-539-7204_

_Sincerely, Tamazaka Otome ♡♡♡♡_

 

          “F-fuck,” Oikawa stuttered and wept out, ‘I think I love him”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof.


	7. hey long time no see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhh story time.

as i keep noted before, thing have gotten rough. and now, it's REAL ROUGH. to keep it short, i've been diagnosed with clinical depression. it's gotten real bad to the point where doing my hobbies is considered a myth and doing school work is a very difficult task. obviously, school comes first. BUT, i have seen some progress and i am slowly but surely etting back on track. i've recently found my hobbies slighlty interesting once again. so, i am going to take what i can and plow through to finish this fic! so, to not let you guys down anymore (oops) by first finishing the story and then update the remaining chapters weekly. as promised, i haven't given up this story nor do i plan on it. thank you for those who have stuck with me despite my excuses as well as this poorly written fic (LMAO). love you all so much!! 

 

ps: im not looking for any pity HAHA


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